A New Theory

 The Penny Theory
(by  Bob Pulliam)

You know how it goes... "Find a penny, pick it up. All the day you'll have good luck." There are probably millions of dollars in revenue from this old saying, if someone would just write a book with claims of extensive research. He could begin with the second part of that saying, which tells us that if you leave it lay, you'll have bad luck the rest of the day. From there one might write about the luck (or misfortune) of the one who lost the penny. This could lead to tips on keeping change from falling out of your pocket (tips on sewing up holes, pulling out keys, etc...). Throughout there should be a smattering of statements from learned people who had picked up pennies and become "believers" through the blessings of good luck. At the end one might put some charts and appendices on the best days to go penny searching; at what point one might quit their job to go and pick up pennies; the role of biorhythms and penny rubbing; and best of all, how to assess tax liability on good luck (fair value estimates, etc...).

I suppose there are a lot of things to which we might compare the "penny theory". For example, it would lend itself well to the New Age foolishness sweeping the planet. But perhaps we should step up to something in "greater repute". Let's give some consideration to "The Theory of Evolution".

It Seems to Fit...

I'm sure the old saying about the penny got started by someone finding a penny and something good happening to them. It seemed to fit! That same person might have also left a penny laying on another occasion and then seemed to have bad luck. Obviously there was no proof of a connection; but then who needs proof when they can take a leap of faith. This theorist may have found a penny on a day when he did not have any good luck; but he could simply reason that the luck was still to come. Eventually, some stroke of luck would verify the original theory.

Charles Darwin did the same thing with Evolution. He did not invent the idea; but as he looked around, it all seemed to fit! Although he realized the existence of a powerful inconsistency in the theory (missing links), he could explain it away by reasoning that all the facts were not in yet. Surely a missing link would be found some day. To the chagrin of evolutionary theorists, no missing link has yet been found. In fact, all they have discovered has cast serious doubts on their own theory.

Look at the Facts...

The author of "The Penny Theory" might tell us of his long years of study, and then smugly ask how much we have studied the matter.

The evolutionist will usually do the same thing; but is a "study" of theory really all that valuable before it can be proven as fact? And what course of study has been adopted in both of these cases? A method of assuming something correct and then manipulating (even distorting) "facts" (as in radioactive dating) to verify a theory contradicted by well known laws of science?

Quitting the Productive World...

Our Penny theorist might well quit his job and get a federal grant to do nothing other than study his theory. A micro-transmitter could be developed for pennies so that they could be tracked as they are lost and found around various cities. What a boon it would be to all mankind if we knew how important it really is to pick up lost pennies we find. It could revolutionize the way people walk down the street. Why, shoe companies might even come out with a field radar penny detector so all could be assured of their full potential.

What benefit might the person bring this world by studying the theory of evolution? It tears down faith in God; teaches man that he is nothing more than an animal that has progressed only a little farther than the apes; promotes a selection process whereby a fittest part of the population must survive (stirring men like Hitler to decide who is fittest). The benefits are clear: Employment in the corrections industry and psycho-analytical fields; greater revenues for companies engaging in the promotion of evil (breweries; soft and hard porn publishers; etc...); more old dry bones to look at whenever we go to the museum; etc... etc...


I know it all sounds pretty foolish; but as I've always heard, "A foolish question deserves a foolish answer.", which I'm certain came from Solomon's proverb which said,

"Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes."
(Proverbs 26:5)